I spotted the amazingly proportioned “Charlie” at GFE Massage just after Christmas. I have been off this scene since leaving the area a while ago. I killed the Sheffield site and I just “moved on”… but at my age and after a lifetime in this game (more than half of my life), it is probably never going to be entirely eradicated.

So I am back in the steel city this week and I find it irresistible to have a dabble. I caught up with a few old faces this last few days – the owner over at Pandoras (which I still think is the THE best venue on the circuit in terms of potential – but it is still failing to pull ‘em in…) and then I dropped in to see the team at City Sauna. I was worried about the rain (and still am given it is still falling from the sky) causing more flooding down at City. Kath has worked so hard to raise the standard in the place – it would be heartbreaking to see it under water again. And the place has gone up another level since I was last there. I don’t think there is anybody who understands the game better than the City Sauna team. OK, the young and the beautiful superstar girls they dont have – and Kath probably wouldn’t try to say that she has, but what they have is a great attitude – a good, honest parlour and Kath ensures that the staff are more than up to the job, play by the rules and deliver on their promises… if its good honest service you want – given in pleasant, friendly surroundings then you can’t go wrong.

I have been accused of having a “downer” on GFE Massage – and I do…. I did… I didn’t like the way they did things and I thought they were overstating the standard of refurbishment. I thought they had simply tarted it up, papered over the cracks (well, not even that high-a-standard of refurb, to be fair) – it had been bodged, was my opinion. Yes – they had installed tv’s in rooms etc – but just ONE ROOM with a shower in a so called “premier league” venue, with water stains where leaks were evident and flaking paint – nah… that isn’t premier league.

I was told that things had changed and I had a dated perception – I was invited to go down and see… well, today, I did.

First thing to say – I still don’t like the atmosphere. It is still very “clinical”. It’s like a doctors surgery just with lower lighting and some tasty pictures on the walls. Maybe it is just me – but I want to KNOW I’m in a massage parlour. I want to know what the girls are like – what their personalities are like… I want to know if they’re demure, shrinking violets or vocal, in-yer-face harlots… Nothing seems to have changed in that respect.

As for the standards of the rooms – sadly, I can’t comment on them.

When I arrived the magnificent Charlie was available. She had the look and the body that ticks every one of my boxes and more… but she looked a little older than I’d hoped. I was hoping late 20′s/early 30′s – now maybe I’m doing her a disservice and I apologise if I am off the mark here – I could be – sadly I didn’t see much of her – but I figured on late 30′s/40′s and I knew that there was another very busty girl – supposedly 19yrs old who was new in today and she was busy… So there I am and I am afraid to say that my perpetual “maybe there is something better to be had” feelings came to the fore. Charlie looked the part – but was she a tad too old for me? Was the other girl just as perfect physically, but younger?

And at this point – another monkey arrived and promptly snapped up the perfect-bodied Charlie for an hour… Grrrrr…

Anyways – Skye eventually came down and my heart sank. Yes – younger – but in terms of perfection, there was a million miles between the two.

Charlie might be 40-ish – but bloody hell, that girl looks every inch the part and I will regret not snapping up my chance for weeks/months/forever(?) She is special…

I couldn’t sit around for another 45 minutes or so in the doctors-surgery-waiting-room-style waiting room… I had some bits and pieces to pick up for my long journey home. So I left – KICKING MYSELF HARD!

I was tempted to go back later – but I decided to drop in at Club 25… 10 minutes later I was walking back out £30 lighter having just had the briefest of flings with the lovely Aleesha. Described as a 19yr old Italian -she was sooooo lovely. So attentive – even if only briefly. But – it was a poor substitute for perfection (save for a few years past the peak – but then I aint exactly perfect myself although having said that, nobody is paying me for it!)

Kicking myself – still… and my opinion on the way they’re doing it hasn’t changed although the jury is still out on those rooms.

MIGHT THIS BE ME ONE DAY SOON?!